he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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