wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh god it's open bar.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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