we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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