I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
