so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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