Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
