you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
