playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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