And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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