I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
