it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
