wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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