I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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