separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize