i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
