We won't sleep together?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
