Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
