Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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