I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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