ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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