Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
