Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
