I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Randomize