im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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