I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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