Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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