Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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