Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
