When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
