she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
