you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
