If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The best revenge is premature balding
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
