I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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