i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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