you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
