C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
