Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
