i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize