its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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