I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we made out on top of his cat.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
