Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I deserve this hangover.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
