We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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