If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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