After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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