I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
