just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
