Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
