yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wow bdsm is so cute
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