It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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