I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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