Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize