I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
