did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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