just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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