Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Say something about gay babies.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
