People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
