I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
