You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
