Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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