Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
