ugly people sure do ruin things
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Farmville is her only friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
