Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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