don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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