pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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