My pussy is not your playground.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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